I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
