coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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