I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize