see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
