some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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