I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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