What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
