batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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