yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
