I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
