i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
the room spins SO much faster in panama
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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