Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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