I wish my penis had an off switch
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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