where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
my shit smells like andre
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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