I think im going to throw up on grandma
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We have started to decorate penises.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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