he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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