we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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