he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
