How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
