If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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