so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
