If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
