We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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