I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
