hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
