You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
