That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
