guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
