i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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