Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
