he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
