I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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