dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
