I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
