so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
