i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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