Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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