You're so nebulous sometimes
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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