I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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