i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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