so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
