I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
