I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
