It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize