I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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