We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize