He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
