I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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