Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
