Buhtt sex?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
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