Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
