Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
