went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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