Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
