gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
At least life still wants to fuck me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
