READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I skipped work to stalk him.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
