girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
