I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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