So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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