I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
