and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
