Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
